Have you ever been in a situation whereby you've really resented someone orsomething? Did you find it ate away at you, made you more miserable or generally unresourceful?

What would it be like if you never had resentment again? Well let's look at what resentment really is.

Resentment is anger gone rotten. The word actually means "re-feeling". So when you are feeling resentful you're actually re-activiateing all the neural networks around negativity and so experiencing it again. Apart from keeping you toxic (your self talk , image, etc) it usually is very symptomatic of the failure type mechanism, i.e. the person who is looking for a scapegoat. This kind of person often blames society, parents for not getting 'the breaks' etc. They block themselves to any kind of success to (unconsciously) 'prove' life is a bitch. So resentment builds up and they continue to 'prove' themselves right.

All resentment is, is an attempt to make our perceived 'failures' more palatable. This is poison to the spirit, limiting growth and possibilities. So if you're into this 'habit', which often leads into the self talk of 'I'm a victim', you are letting someone/something else control your life.

The antidote is forgiveness, giving and receiving it. This may sound a bit superficial, it isn't, it is really about letting go and moving on, we all make mistakes. So, if you start to feel resentful try to:

• Accept the incident or situation happened, realise you can't undo the past.
• Tell yourself it's time to move on and look to the future, if you start to do this, you will feel a new release of energy to make way for more empowering energy.

If you start to have resentful thoughts e.g. "after everything I've done for her/him, .." "It's not fair he/she/it always..." STOP.
This is the 'trigger' that will let you know you are beginning to put a new 'habit', a new way of thinking into place.

Consciously CHOOSE to evaluate the situation in a neutral light e.g. "I'm feeling sorry for myself because I didn't get that promotion, but actually X probably really deserved it because they worked harder, were more commited, etc. Next time I'll make sure I set goals for it." Be aware also that feelings of emptimness, loneliness are often just symptoms that you are not living creatively, you have no current goals in place, get some, however small. We are cybernetic creatures, we are designed to have goals, as I've mentioned in previous WCT's. If you don't choose your goals, your sub-conscious will, and they will be positive or negtive, depending on your mind set as a person. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day, it will take a little time, to install the nevew pattern or habit, so be good to yourself.

You may find it useful to look back at some of the past tips in the archive to help with this.

Until next week Onwards and Upwards and have a forgiving week.

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